Media: Scientist claims « Findings are meaningless. »
Blagues en Anglais
Doctor : Let me tell you a story: « There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!
Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..
Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please..
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
A few days ago I was talking to some friends, and friends of those friends, at a bar.
I decided to break the ice with the new friends with a few jokes, most of which went down very well…until I decided to tell a few more offensive ones…and picked the worst possible one to start with.
Here’s the joke I told:
« What do you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath?
Throw your washing (laundry if you’re American) in. »
One of the new friends instantly became enraged and swung for me. When I asked him what the hell his problem was he replied that his younger brother was epileptic and died in the bath many years ago.
Obviously I felt mortified as I didn’t know about it, and said « I’m so sorry to hear that. Did he drown? »
« No, » replied the guy. « He choked on a sock. »
Noble gases should have no reaction.
The bartender asks « Why the long face? »
The man replies « I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death. »
The bartender looks shocked and says « I’m sorry I can’t help you kill yourself. »
The man asks « Well what would you do in my situation? »
The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says « If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself, I’d kill the guy. »
The man jumps up from his stool and shouts « That’s a great idea! Thanks! » and runs out of the bar.
A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous when the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face.
« Did you kill the guy? » The bartender asks nervously.
« Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please. »
…for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?
Blagues en Anglais
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