An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

« I don’t serve half-beers » the bartender replies

« Excuse me? » Asks mathematician #2

« What kind of bar serves half-beers? » The bartender remarks. « That’s ridiculous. »

« Oh c’mon » says mathematician #1 « do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along »

« There are very strict laws on how I can serve drinks. I couldn’t serve you half a beer even if I wanted to. »

« But that’s not a problem » mathematician #3 chimes in « at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function- »

« I know how limits work » interjects the bartender

« Oh, alright then. I didn’t want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics »

« Are you kidding me? » The bartender replies, « you learn limits in like, 9th grade! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics? »

« HE’S ON TO US » mathematician #1 screeches

Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade.

The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. « FOOLS » it booms in unison, « I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA »

The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. « But wait » he inturrupts, thinking fast, « if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers! »

The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. « My God, you’re right. We didn’t think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS! » and with that, they vanish.

A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. « How did you know that that would work? »

« It’s simple really » the bartender says. « I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative. »

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