She said, « Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights ».
Blagues en Anglais
Loading...An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar
The first mathematician orders a beer
The second orders half a beer
« I don’t serve half-beers » the bartender replies
« Excuse me? » Asks mathematician #2
« What kind of bar serves half-beers? » The bartender remarks. « That’s ridiculous. »
« Oh c’mon » says mathematician #1 « do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along »
« There are very strict laws on how I can serve drinks. I couldn’t serve you half a beer even if I wanted to. »
« But that’s not a problem » mathematician #3 chimes in « at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function- »
« I know how limits work » interjects the bartender
« Oh, alright then. I didn’t want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics »
« Are you kidding me? » The bartender replies, « you learn limits in like, 9th grade! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics? »
« HE’S ON TO US » mathematician #1 screeches
Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade.
The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. « FOOLS » it booms in unison, « I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA »
The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. « But wait » he inturrupts, thinking fast, « if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers! »
The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. « My God, you’re right. We didn’t think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS! » and with that, they vanish.
A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. « How did you know that that would work? »
« It’s simple really » the bartender says. « I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative. »
If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks…
Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.
Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar
You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence .
Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim.
…after taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape.
« You see, » Carl says « for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into it’s components. » Jim is skeptical, but intrigued.
Carl continues: « For the last five years, I’ve been swallowing pieces off my uniform. It’s perfect, because the guards just think it’s rats chewing on it. »
So Jim asks, « Well, what does that have to do with me? How can I help? »
Carl says « Well, the pieces of fabric come out as individual fibers. I figure by this time next year, we’ll have enough to fashion enough rope to get over the wall. I just need you to tie the fibers. »
Jim, disgusted, says « You have got to be kidding me! »
And Carl says « I shit. You knot. »
« You’re telling me that I’m losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I’M BLACK?! »
« Mister President, we’ve been over this… »
Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle’s ideals of getting America fit again.
One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.