Blagues en Anglais

The fairy says « I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day. »

The professor says « I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read? » so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids’ screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.

The C.E.O says « I’ll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This’ll be a breeze » so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.

The janitor says « I’ll be an artist » so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.

The janitor says « I got a masters degree in art. »

Edit: Thank you for the silver, gold, and platinum!

Midlife crisis

A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. « Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don’t allow smoking in here. You’ll have to step outside to smoke. »

So the monocle hops off the bar stool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become.

The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. « Hey you two! » he shouts. « Stop making spectacles of yourselves! »