Pourquoi les mille-pattes ne peuvent-ils pas jouer au hockey ?
Le temps d’enfiler leurs patins, la partie serait déjà terminée !
Dernières blagues
Loading...My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.
A solid 10, but also imaginary.
Les parents
Les parents, c’est deux personnes qui t’apprennent à marcher et à parler, pour te dire ensuite de t’asseoir et de te taire !
A man walks into a bar…
The bartender asks « Why the long face? »
The man replies « I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death. »
The bartender looks shocked and says « I’m sorry I can’t help you kill yourself. »
The man asks « Well what would you do in my situation? »
The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says « If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself, I’d kill the guy. »
The man jumps up from his stool and shouts « That’s a great idea! Thanks! » and runs out of the bar.
A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous when the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face.
« Did you kill the guy? » The bartender asks nervously.
« Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please. »
Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
Charlotte
Charlotte regarde un mille-feuilles qui coûte 4 euros.
Elle entre et dit à la boulangère :
– Je voudrais 500 feuilles, parce que je n’ai que 2 euros
Dentiste
Sophie revient du dentiste.
– Est-ce que ta dent fait encore mal ?
– Je ne sais pas, maman. Elle est restée chez le dentiste.
Un bébé serpent
Un bébé serpent demande à sa maman :
– Maman, est-ce-que je suis vénimeux ?
– Non, pourquoi, mon chéri ?
– Parce que je me suis mordu la langue !
Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
Doctor : Let me tell you a story: « There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!
Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..
Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please..